It is a fact that beauty is indeed where you find it, unfortunately to a lot people it escapes them. It’s not a far off fable that is beyond their grasp or a myth that someone made up, it’s right there with you, just go look in the mirror. Yes, I can say that with confidence. Sure it would be nice to have more backup then your parents saying, “You look fine Dear, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” This is where you must step in and allow yourself to see it. You really are your worst critic. No one else is in your bathroom while you’re alone telling you that you need to lose a few pounds or your eye brows are too ‘whatever you’re saying’ to yourself. All those fashion magazines you think are mocking you really aren’t, it’s you desiring a look that you really can’t achieve so you beat yourself up for not reaching that lofty goal. The only reason you can’t pull it off is they have a team… Yes, a team of people all over them ALL day blotting, spraying and tucking any flaws because that is all they do ALL day in order to get ready for a photo shot. Not, because you’re ugly. Think about it, unless you are their identical twin it isn’t going to happen. And even then, they look better in that one picture than in their ‘everyday look’ too. It’s brought about by an insane amount of makeup so it will show up on camera. If they get that wrong, there is a handy program called Photoshop. After thousands of takes or pictures they will choose one shot per outfit and STILL Photoshop it! So let me just conclude this opening paragraph with: Cut yourself some slack, would ya?!
Ok so… where are we left? Taking a look at ourselves and appreciating what we have. Somewhere along the way something or someone made us feel we didn’t deserve to be beautiful and “that’s just nonsense!” (I got the end of that sentence from my Mom, smart lady.) We all look different and we need to build on that and do something about it instead of whining. Want to look and feel better? Of course you do so pick yourself up and start by being good to yourself. That, by the way, is the first step because until you realize what you have, no amount of beauty products are going to help, seriously.
Why do I know this? I’ll give you a little insight into me. As far back as Elementary school I wanted to be liked by the opposite sex. Back then it was notes and secret crushes and I sent a note to a boy in my class. After he read it he came over and tore it up right in front of me. The only solace I took from that moment was no one knew I sent it. Fast forward to high school, junior high, I had a boyfriend. He was fabulous and loved me like no other but it ended. I did get him back years later but that’s another story. So of course being the writer I am I stuck with the medium that was successful, but only because it shielded me from direct rejection, not because anyone really wanted to date me. It was usually met with no response, continued friendship or being ignored completely. To add to my lack of confidence I was best friends with a girl that most of the boys were attracted to. They had good reason to; she was cute, great to get along with and so NOT stuck up in any way. Even then I could see why they liked her but it hurt and I told her so one night. She understood but she asked “What can I do about it?” of course there was nothing, and she was my best friend so how could I ask her to ‘do’ anything, it wasn’t her fault. Again another story but I did get back with my other boyfriend until he died when I was 18. Then I struggled through my 20’s because again not too popular with the boys and I continued to hang around with gorgeous ladies. “Why?” you ask, because it just worked out that way and because their personalities supported their outer beauty. Now before you think I’m going down a shallow path here it finally hit me… like a ton of bricks, it WASN’T me it was them! I was looking through my school pictures that my dad lovingly saved and gave to me in a binder and I was cute. In high school I was pretty and the more I thought about it, I had good friends. You know what the problem was? The boys at the time were too immature to handle a girl in a wheelchair; it was their insecurities that were the issue, revelation? Totally! My point from this walk down my own past ‘ugly’ road is, had I realized all this little sooner I could have saved myself a lot of self-torture and sometimes loathing. Only you can be good to yourself because the rest is beyond your control. Take a long look in that mirror because you have more than most and be grateful that you have yourself on your side.
Did my life become magical and wonderful after all that? No, that’s only in the movies but what it did allow me to see in myself was, I was part of the ‘beautiful’ people(my college roommate said it to me one day, it surprised me and made me see). You are the only one holding you back from looking and feeling good. This world is filled with millions of people with a million perspectives on beauty but in the end it’s your own view that should matter. Find your beauty, I guarantee it’s worth the inner search.
